Facilitating Postive Thinking

Much that is known about gender difference indicates that girls, and more especially women, are more likely to have difficulties thinking positively about their goals than are males. The results of the 1992 survey of elite women athletes (page…) supports that. The point of the follow-up work to that survey (Mental Preparation Foundation Courses 1993-96) was that it is not possible to be positive about performance from a basis of habitually negative thinking in everyday life. Aware and prepared coaches can be catalysts for change in this type of thinking that can be life enhancing in all spheres. Naturally though, again they have to apply the positive thinking rules to themselves first – something that great coaches do automatically.

Figure 26, Self Defeating Beliefs outlines the kind of set-in-stone thinking in which self-awareness and the acceptance of the subjectivity of experience holds no place. It is based on the work of Dorothy Rowe (therapist and expert on depression) and is an example of the kind of disempowered and disempowering, fatalistic thinking that gives rise to so much emotional distress and even illness. It presents an extreme case, of course, but how many of the 15 statements underlie our thinking to some degree at some time? On an intellectual level, the statements might seem ridiculous. But, when life gets tough, it useful to examine the assumptions that underlie our difficulties against this list to test the extent to which the problem is self-induced.

    Self-defeating beliefs
  1. I must be loved or like by everyone, people should love me
  2. I must be perfect in all I do
  3. All people with whom I work or live must be perfect
  4. I can have little control over what happens to me
  5. It is easier to avoid facing difficulties than to deal with them
  6. Disagreement and conflict are a disaster and must be avoided at all costs
  7. People, including me, do not change
  8. Some people are always good, others are always bad
  9. The world should be perfect and it is terrible and unbearable that it is not
  10. People are fragile and need to be protected from "the truth"
  11. Other people exist to make us happy and we cannot be happy unless they do so
  12. Crises are invariably and entirely destructive and no good can come from them
  13. Somewhere there is a perfect job, the perfect "solution", the perfect partner, etc. and all we need to is search for them
  14. We should not have problems. If we do it indicates that we are incompetent
  15. There is only one way of seeing any situation, i.e. the "true" way

It is based on the work of Dorothy Rowe (therapist and expert on depression) and is an example of the kind of disempowered and disempowering, fatalistic thinking that gives rise to so much emotional distress and even illness. It presents an extreme case of course, but how many of the 15 statements underline our thinking to some degree at some time? On an intellectual level, the statements might seem rediculous, but, when life gets tough, it is useful to examine the assumptions that underlie our difficulties against this list to test the exten which problem is self-induced.

“Contrary to what we often believe, other people or things do not make us unhappy. We make ourselves unhappy by what we tell ourselves. We need to train ourselves to avoid negative or self-destructive self talk and particularly to avoid thoughts which are based on these self-defeating beliefs. These beliefs set up expectations in us of ourselves, of other people, of the world, which are unrealistic and invite disappointment. These beliefs lead to most of the feelings of worry, fear, jealousy, depression and guilt that people experience. If we believe them we think in terms of “things should be….” Or “people ought to….” And we will get angry and disappointed a great deal of the time when events or people do not live up to our expectations. If we can begin to accept that there are no “shoulds” and “oughts” and begin to think in terms of “it would be preferable if…” or “I may need to work to bring that about…”, then we will become more likely to act to make things more like we want them to be.”

Dorothy Rowe. Breaking The Bonds. Harper Collins 1994

Coaches may also be familiar with the following list of negative attitudes from various quarters – athletes resisting a suggested change in technique, a club resisting suggestions for organisational change, or even coaches themselves resisting changes to the circumstances in which they coach or train:-

I/WE CAN’T POSSIBLY TRY THAT BECAUSE:-

IT MIGHT NOT WORK
I/WE’VE ALWAYS DONE SOMETHING ELSE
IT FEELS VERY STRANGE
I HAVE TO PUT THAT FIRE OUT (GET THAT TEAM OUT FOR SATURDAY)
OLD DOGS CAN’T LEARN NEW TRICKS
YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND THE PROBLEM
IT’S “THEIR” FAULT, NOT MINE/OURS
IT’D JUST MAKE THINGS HARDER FOR ME/US

To summarize, inner dialogue is the habitual, unexamined, negative stuff we continually tell ourselves. Inner dialogue; GENERALISES; STEREOTYPES; EXAGGERATES; IS PESSIMISTIC AND ASSUMES FUTURE RESULTS TO BE INEVITABLE.

As a result self esteem sinks, negative feelings about the impending event grow, feelings of defensiveness are produced resulting in either passive or aggressive behaviour. Self fulfilling prophesy is the frequent outcome and the negative cycle of thinking deepens.

The first step to reducing the influence of inner dialogue on our achievements is to be aware of it. Fig 27 Modifying the Influence of Inner Dialogue outlines helpful pre, during and post event (e.g., meeting a difficult individual or task) routines. The 0 to 10 exercise outlined below is a very useful tool to ensure that evaluation of performance is as objective as possible and gives a very realistic foundation for goal setting.

Figure 27 - Modifying the influence of inner dialogue

Before the event:

Review the realities from the past
Take a hard look at your assumptions
Write down an alternative scenario
Recognise the prevailing characertistics of inner dialogue

During an Encounter:

Become aware of the influence your inner dialogue on what is happening
Change posture, breathe deeply, pause, listen and choose your next behavior
Recognise that your inner dialogue is influencing your preception of the encounter

After the event

Review the realities of what actually happened and recall the scenario in your inner dialogue
Log your real successes and failures
Influence your inner dialogue to counteract it's adverse effects

The 0 to 10 exercise outlined below is a very useful tool to ensure that the evaluation of performance is as objective as possible and gives a very realistic foundation for goal setting.

The 0 to 10 Exercise

On a scale of 1 (awful) to 10 (as good as it can be) , mark where your performance is at the moment; for example 60%. List the components of that 60%. These are your strengths. It will help (when it is an athletics performance) to break that down into physical, mental and technical strengths. Make sure you list absolutely everything. Now turn to the remaining 40%. These are the areas that need work. List these under physical, mental and technical also. Now have a look at the strengths list again. Was the 60% estimate accurate? Re-evaluate your performance. Most people find that they have underestimated it. In performance (competition, exam, presentation, interview), focus on the positives. RUN WITH YOUR STRENGTHS. In training (or revision or preparation) look at the areas that need work. Use the list as a basis for goal setting.

Alma Thomas

Try to be constantly on guard against negative inner dialogue. When you catch yourself at it, work through the “During an Encounter” process. Afterwards go through the “After the Event” routine, and do go to the bother of listing your successes, because this helps in the process of believing. When you are familiar with these routines you can assist athletes with the same processes.

Get the athletes to list the negative statements they habitually use. Do they link with the self defeating beliefs list? Get them to change the negative statements to positive ones ready to use to replace the negative when they pop into the mind.

Examples

“I hate jumping in the rain.” To “It’s difficult for everyone and I can jump as well as anyone else in these conditions.”

“I love the 100, but the 200 hurts!” To “I’ve done the work and I can run a good 200. It’ll be a great achievement.”

“I’m shy and bad at small talk with people I don’t know well.” To “I’m a good listener and have lots of interests to share.”

Role conflict is a frequently noted problem for adult women juggling family, work and sport commitments. The athlete is usually only too aware of the conflicting demands of these roles. But she is less likely to have thought through the contrasting emotional, cognitive and behavioural demands that each role makes upon her and to have developed the skill to leave one set of behaviour and thinking behind when stepping into another role. Athletes with low self-esteem and self confidence are likely to find this particularly stressful, resulting in under-achievement in areas making specific performance demands. It is essential that such an athlete be able to “give herself permission” to change role completely without taking little bits of, for example, motherhood, onto the track. She must, having made suitable provision for the child, be able to leave that role behind and assume the thinking and behaviour of the dedicated athlete. The danger, particularly in mothers of very young children, is to fear that being completely “the athlete” while on the track is a betrayal of her relationship with her child, rather than the effective and legitimate self-management skill that it is. It is, of course, also a common experience for parents of both sexes to let work, relationship or other preoccupations leak into the realm of parenting. At times of intense pressure this leakage (in either direction) may be inevitable. But it is not necessary or desirable for this to be a habitual state of mind. But for many women this is indeed the case. Athletes taking part in WAG’s personal development and performance workshops found the following exercise a useful starting point.

Hats Exercise

(Keep these lists to hand and add to it over a period of time. Take 5 or 10 minutes everyday to read it through and make additions. If possible work with a partner and take turns to tell each other about your lists.)

Feedback

Although the provision of coaching feedback is a coaching skill and well covered in the coaching manuals, it is perhaps worth underlining here that, for female athletes, the juxtaposition between intrinsic and extrinsic feedback may be of particular significance. It is essential that tendencies to interpret intrinsic feedback (that which is always present and available to the athlete) negatively are identified and corrected. This includes the tendency to use negative terminology when sharing this with the coach or other person. If the coach models positive attitudes in the way s/he frames comments, the athlete is much more likely express her internal feedback in positive terms too. This assumes, of course, that she has honed her positive self-talk skills as an individual in other aspects of her life. Obviously positive “coaching” self talk is unrealistic if she habitually talks herself down, admonishes herself or continually berates herself with punishing, negative self talk.

Questioning and coaching the athlete to provide herself with positive responses are an essential part of raising the athlete’s awareness and positive self-talk skills – in other words the coach coaches the athlete to coach herself. The use of open questions and the encouragement of objective, positively framed, spoken responses from the athlete herself can raise her self-awareness and greatly enhance positive thinking and her perception of control – key performance skills.